We Took

Speaking as a man, I am disgusted by the costume industry's treatment of women's costumes, particularly the focus on what is defined as "sexy." From "Sexy Harley Quinn" to "Sexy Nurse" and everything in-between, they seem to think that "exposing lots of skin" is the only thing that anyone would find sexy about women. And it's insulting to women, insulting to men, and just plain WRONG. You know what kind of women people find TRULY sexy? Strong women with minds of their own who are more concerned with books and conversation...who are also super hot and show off a lot of skin.

So here are some FREE SUGGESTIONS for much sexier women's costumes - you can do better, costume industry. Let me help you.

1. Single Mother Working Two Jobs To Make a Better Life For Her Children (but also in a mini skirt and with mondo boobs)


The strongest people on Earth aren't bodybuilders or star athletes - they're the single mothers, who work their butts off to provide for their family. Life hasn't been easy on them, but they persevere in spite of the odds - and there is NOTHING hotter than that. This costume of a single mother working construction (grueling physical labor) is about as sexy as sexy gets.

...although obviously a single mother with big time hooters and a short skirt is, like, DOUBLE sexy.

2. Proud Feminist (who's perfectly tan and has a rockin' bod)


The fact that "feminist" is still a taboo phrase to many in today's society should say it all - with regressive politicians in power who aim to target women's rights and women's health at every turn, it's clear we need feminism now more than ever. And there is nothing sexier than someone standing up for what is right and just - a proud feminist fits that bill exactly.

...but you know what's sexier than a proud feminist? A proud feminist who also is wearing high heels and a little pink lingerie thing. Progressive AND hot.

3. A Female CEO of a Major Company (who's got a kinda "sexy librarian" look and wears a mini skirt)


Let's face it - the patriarchy's effects are mindboggling, creating barriers to entry for women that are both explicit and hidden. The vast, vast majority of CEOs and major stakeholders in businesses are male - so when a woman is able to claw her way to the top and overcome every obstacle in her way, it's impressive. Getting there requires ambition, talent, and a little bit of luck - but DAMN is it sexy to see a determined, enterprising woman in charge.

...but, like, if she could also have those hot librarian glasses and a mini skirt and a showing off a lot of skin, that would be the most sexy.

4. A Woman Who Isn't Concerned With Looking "Sexy" For Halloween (but still looks totally sexy)


Ya know what - no matter what a woman's job is nor how she self-identifies, it's just plain sexy to see a woman who DOESN'T CARE ABOUT LOOKING SEXY FOR HALLOWEEN. She knows that's a childish, immature attitude and she's past it - she knows to value her own comfort above making herself something for men to ogle and objectify. Sadly, so many other women have been trained to think dressing sexy is both necessary and expected, and are made to debase themselves for the pleasure of leering men. It's gross, and we as a culture need to value women as people instead of sexual objects without inner lives of their own. That's sexy.

...also if she's just the regular old kind of sexy in addition to that. That's maximum sexy.


Feel free to yell at Andrew Bridgman on Twitter or Facebook about what a woke genius he is.