Most Mind-Boggling Would You Rather Scenarios

We like to play a game at the office, just posing "Would you rather" situations to each other to see how people respond, like:

  • Would you rather sweat chili or have every song you hear be sung by your mother?
  • Would you rather swim in a pool of broken glass once, or never be allowed to bring your phone to the bathroom for the rest of your life?

The obvious answers, by the way, are "sweat chili" and "swim in a pool of broken glass", because the other two options are UNIMAGINABLE (also sweating chili would sometimes be pretty helpful). Anyways, we decided to get some scenarios from our fans on Twitter to see what twisted mindgames they could come up with - and they did not disappoint:


This is tough - being 17 sounds okay, but it also means you'll be young, inexperienced, facing a job market where you would be lucky to get even an unpaid internship, and generally going back to having your life be directionless. Being 80 sounds kinda crummy (since you're nearing the end of your life), but - hey! Retirement, Medicare, and getting to lecture people younger than you all the time.


Here's the twist: I would create a virus that gives cancer, but CONTAIN the virus immediately and then use my fame and fortune and access to the cancer-virus to figure out the cure. BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.


If I'm constantly crying, at least people would come up to me and offer me hugs and hankerchiefs. No one wants to come near a hysterically laughing person.


Personally I would rather just have more than 100 followers (99 of whom are Russian porn bots), but either of these sound like decent options.


Adam, please tell me the truth about how the things in life I enjoy are actually terrible - because I will NEVER accept Pete Holmes not being Batman.


I feel like the pee would be easier to deal with - but it's unclear HOW MUCH pee we're talking about here. So, this is a tough one.


...well, I guess I'm never having lasagna again.


This is the worst scenario I've ever imagined. Stephen, you evil genius...


I was not prepared for some of these scenarios...I don't think I will ever be prepared for this one.

Have more Would You Rathers? Either leave a comment below, or tweet at us so we can ponder more moral conundrums!