1.  Forest Whitaker Directed Waiting To Exhale

Films Created By The Last Person You'd Expect

The Film: Waiting to Exhale is basically the cinematic equivalent of a night out with the girls. It tells the love stories of four women, and is all about female empowerment, flowing pants and a nice glass of wine.

The Filmmaker: Waiting to Exhale was directed by Forrest Whitaker who...well he's terrifying. Whatever the opposite of flowing pants and wine is, Forest Whitaker is the personification of that. He's a talented guy so it's not surprising that he pulled it off, but it's still surprising to think about the fact that that trailer up there came from the most intense human being who's ever lived.

2. Stuart Little was written by M. Night Shyamalan


The Film: The extremely loose adaptation of E.B. White's classic children's book  that shows you what would happen if you replaced everything from the original story with skateboarding and a weird twist on adoption.

The Filmmaker: Twist! Stuart Little was written by none other than M. Night Shyamalan. Though the film is arguably creepier than some of the director's later works, it still doesn't fit into his horror oeuvre. Granted, he probably wasn't writing it as a passion project, but given who he became, it's M. Night's second funniest credit, after The Happening.

3. JJ Abrams Wrote Gone Fishin'


The Film: Gone Fishin' is the kind of terrible, idiotic comedy that made the 90's great. Granted, I've never seen it, but based on the number of boat chases in the trailer alone, I feel pretty safe in saying it's not so great.

The Filmmaker: Everyone's gotta start somewhere, and for JJ Abrams it was by writing Gone Fishin'. I don't know if anyone expected the writer of this B-Movie to go on to helm the single greatest franchise in cinema history, but time makes fools of us all I suppose.

4. 10 Cloverfield Lane Was Written By Damien Chazelle


The Film: Speaking of JJ Abrams, 10 Cloverfield Lane is mildly related to him, by which I mean he bought it up and hastily turned it into a slapdash sequel for the last movie that should ever have a sequel. That said, any movie with John Goodman is a-okay in my book.

The Filmmaker: One of the writers of 10 Cloverfield was Damien Chazelle, who you might know better as the overhyped genius behind La La Land. Presumably the original script featured a 10 page long monologue in which Mary Elizabeth Winstead explained the importance of jazz to an alien.

5. August Rush Was Written by Michael Myers


The Film: I think it's technically against the law to speak ill of a Robin Williams movie now, but if there were one to shit on, it would be August Rush. The film is a bunch of sentimental hokum about the power of music, and once this sentence is over I will instantly return to forgetting that it exists.

The Filmmaker: The man behind one of the most forgettable ever is also the man behind one of cinema's scariest villains. August Rush was co-written by Nick Castle, the guy who donned a shatner mask and played Michael Myers in the original Halloween. Who's to say which of his contributions to cinema is more horrific, but I sure know which one is better and it don't star the kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.