Liberals are always complaining about "climate change" - going on and on about how humanity is ruining the planet through pollution and overconsumption and how we pose a grave threat to countless ecosystems. They whine about it so much - but the truth is that "climate change" really isn't a big deal. Here's why:

1. The Earth will inevitably be consumed by our sun - no action we take towards bettering our world now can change the immovable course of the cosmos.


In approximately 7.6 billion years, the sun that sits at the center of our solar system will have expanded far beyond the bounds of its present day limits and consumed the Earth, along with any remnant of life that still resides on it. The sun's "red giant" phase (which begins in approximately 5 billion years) will be its final gasp before collapsing into a white dwarf - at which point, even if the Earth had survived the red giant phase, temperatures on the surface would drop to near absolute zero.

Of course, all sentient and non-sentient life will likely have been eradicated far before such end times - the sun's increasing luminosity will have eliminated 99% of all plant life in approximately 600 million years. 200 million years later, all plant life - along with any multicellular life - will have no chance at survival.

Simply put - the Earth is doomed. Our planet's fate is tied to that of our sun - that which gives us light and warmth and the necessities that allow life to flourish. As the sun ages and grows unstable, our Earth will be helpless to battle its intertwined destiny. No amount of planning or care can avoid what it is inevitable - there is a finite amount of energy available in the universe, and it is slowly fading.

Our actions today can do nothing to change this. Our climate - as everything else we have ever known or will ever know - will meet the same catastrophic fate in a few billion years. So, like, just chill out and let the coal industry dump runoff into your kid's drinking water, okay?

2. We are overdue for an extinction level event that claims the planet's dominant species - humanity. Perhaps the next one will not occur by chance, like a supervolcano or an asteroid, but rather we will become the architects of our own demise through our own consumption and environmental carelessness. It would be a just, much-deserved end for our craven species.


You may not realize it, but we are going through an extinction event right now, known as the Holocene extinction - the mass extinctions of countless species of animals and plants. While documentation is spotty at best, the destruction of rainforests, coral reefs, and other areas of biodiversity have led scientists to estimate that we may be witnessing a present rate of extinction of 140,000 species per year.

One species that presently seems immune from the Holocene extinction should come as no surprise - humanity, the primary driver of the extinction event itself. Overhunting and overfishing, destruction of habitats, and - yes - accelerating climate change are all human-led efforts that have destroyed more species of plant and animal than one could reasonably hope to name. The Earth does not need an asteroid or supervolcano to bring about untold levels of death - humanity is capable of far greater ruination than any natural disaster.

And while our higher brain functions have allowed us the planning and technology to adapt ourselves to virtually any environment, it is not inconceivable that our actions here will eventually catch up with us, and the ravages of climate change will ultimately destroy humanity as well. Rising oceans and higher average temperatures across the world could cause ecological disasters the likes of which we have never seen and are desperately unprepared for. Even if humanity is not wiped out to the degree of extinction, before long we may only number in the tens of thousands - with billions dying of drought, famine, and environmental disaster. And to that end, climate change could ultimately be seen to have a positive outcome: the end of humanity itself.

History would say we deserve such an end - our reckless behavior leading to our own undoing would be a poetic end to our ignoble time on this Earth.

So since we're def gonna die and all, let's cool it with the "carbon tax" talk, okay? Really sick of all these stupid "taxes." Wasn't America founded on "no more taxes" or something?

3. Our own instruments of war are far more likely to destroy all human life on Earth long before the grave, disastrous effects of climate change become undeniable and ruinous.


Humanity's hubris goes far beyond our domination and mistreatment of our own environment - there is no category which humans put more stock in than instruments of war and outright destruction. Climate change and pollution are long term issues - and humanity has no patience, not even for its own end. Instead of devoting its greatest minds to peace, prosperity, and conservation, humanity chose to elevate those who preached hatred and death.

To these ends, humanity created its most terrible achievement - nuclear weapons, capable of unthinkable levels of sheer annihilation. Within years of the first nuclear weapon, they not only were used against others - but they proliferated. Enough to wipe the Earth clean of life fifty times over - and for what purpose? For what greater aim? To appease the egos of politicians and military-men, who draw lines on maps and put their faith in flags. For these shallow reasons, it would be a massive achievement if humanity held off long enough to destroy itself by slowly ruining the Earth they call home. It is far more likely they will destroy themselves in one fell swoop, using the instruments of war that they had once said - with all sincerity - would deter war itself.

War begets war - do not forget these words.

But also like, those nukes really helped us beat the Japanese, which was good. I mean, we totally could've beaten them without the nukes, but the nukes just showed them who was boss. We should def use those nukes against ISIS, they'd never see it coming.

4. Our reckless endangerment of our own limited environment will likely force us into the unsavory-but-necessary position of exploring life beyond our Earth - and attempting to colonize Mars, or perhaps space itself. There is no hope for our own planet, so we must pray that we are able to leave this place and not repeat the same mistakes.


There is a dangerous game afoot - a race to see if technology can send humanity into the heavens permanently, before our pursuit of industry destroys the very Earth we walk upon today. And as the ground begins to crumble beneath us, the game gets ever more urgent - we must move beyond our Earth, or we will surely meet with a fate that few would argue was not deserved.

Our planet is being poisoned, and we are the assassins - like the tale of the scorpion and frog, we cannot help but kill the very thing we need to ensure our own survival, for no greater reason than "it is in our nature to do so." But there may yet be an out - an escape from this Earth, with the universe opened to us at last. And there is no greater motivator than the destruction of our own environment, by our own hands.

Of course, we would simply be prolonging the inevitable - wherever humanity landed, that world would meet the same fate as Earth before it. Just because our minds are grand enough to create technology that can bring us across the cosmos does not mean our hearts are any less base - we will poison whatever soil we land on.

After all, it is in our nature to do so.

PS - I got an "inconvenient" truth for ya, Al Gore: you suck!!!

5. Each one of us is merely a mortal individual, whose time on this Earth is short, and ultimately we will all die - but the Earth will live on. The hubris it requires to think we as a species can decimate the Earth irrevocably is, frankly, obscene. We are but a blip on the Earth's timeline - and whatever damage we do, not matter how relatively substantial in the moment - will be healed in time.


To the eons, humanity is nothing. We are but a child's breath to eternity. And whatever destruction we wreak upon our planet and however many deaths our negligence and malice causes, the Earth will heal. It is the highest level of arrogance to think we pose a permanent risk to the Earth - in a few millions of years, there will be scarce evidence we existed at all.

None of this is to discount the suffering of countless individuals - both human and animal - that will occur in the meantime. Only someone with no empathy or conception of the value of life would be so blasé about the unthinkable levels of harm and pain we are inflicting (directly or indirectly) with our actions as a species. Future generations will spit when thinking of their ignorant forefathers, who left them a ruined, toxic, uninhabitable planet. But there is hope in time - a time beyond humanity, when the balance of nature is finally restored.



Then again - if "global warming" is real - then why'd it snow in April??? Can't answer that, can ya, Mr. Fancy Science Man?