Why Donald Trump and Chris Christie Are An IRL Ramsay and Reek

The relationship between President Donald Trump and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is a strange one in modern politics - not quite a partnership, it really more resembles the relationship between Ramsay Bolton and Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones, with Trump (as Ramsay) constantly abusing and belittling Christie (as Theon), while Christie does whatever he can to placate and please Trump.

But here's the thing: he can't. Because he's basically just Trump's plaything, there for Trump's own amusement. And these are the 6 most indignant moments in their relationship (so far):

1. The time Trump made Christie eat meatloaf


While doing one of the few things in life that still seem to bring him some sense of joy - guest-hosting a sports talk radio show, "Boomer & Carton Show" - Chris Christie brought up the latest in a long string of embarrassing, condescending moments of Donald Trump treating him like a piece of garbage: making him eat meatloaf.

To be fair, it's not like Trump pinned Christie to the ground and force-fed him meatloaf (although maybe he did - the only account of the meal we have is from Christie, who would have probably left out that detail) - while dining at the White House along with a few others, Trump told everyone to order whatever they wanted...except Christie. Christie, along with Trump, would be having the meatloaf. Per Christie:

''This is what it's like to be with Trump. He says, 'There's the menu, you guys order whatever you want.' And then he says, 'Chris, you and I are going to have the meatloaf.'''

The really rough part is that everyone else at the table was encouraged to order anything - and Trump singled out Christie and made him eat the same thing Trump was eating. Trump has ultimate power over Christie for some reason and is keenly aware of it - and now seems to be using that knowledge just to fuck with Christie and see if there's ANYTHING he can do to Christie to make him stand up for himself.

So far, it doesn't seem like it, since he ate the meatloaf.

2. The time Trump straight up mocked Christie at a campaign stop (that Christie was at with him)


Chris Christie was one of the first establishment Republicans to throw his weight behind Trump (that's not a fat joke, I swear) - endorsing him, appearing with him at press conferences, and traveling all across the country to help campaign for him. In short - Christie immediately dedicated himself entirely to Trump, pledging his loyalty and offering whatever skills he could. And almost instantly, Trump took a huge shit on him for his service.

When campaigning in Ohio in March 2016, Trump took an opportunity to slam Ohio's governor and his competition in the Republican primary, John Kasich - primarily accusing Kasich of spending way too much time away from his gubernatorial duties to campaign in New Hampshire (while Christie - as part of Trump's campaign entourage at the time - was standing just off-stage). Trump said to the crowd:

"Your governor, Kasich, if you look at him--and I'm being totally impartial - he goes to New Hampshire, he's living in New Hampshire."

Trump was implying that Kasich was ignoring his duties to the people of Ohio as their governor to focus on his flailing presidential ambitions...and it just so happened that there had been ANOTHER out-of-state governor who spent a lot of time in New Hampshire trying to gain some momentum in the Republican primary: his new pal (and New Jersey governor), Chris Christie.

"Where's Chris? Is Chris around? Even more than Chris Christie, he was there! Right?...I hate to do that, but I had to make my point."

So - not only was he mocking someone who had just recently endorsed him and campaigned for him across multiple states, but he did so while the guy was standing RIGHT THERE LISTENING.


3. The time Trump wouldn't let Christie stand under his umbrella


via NJ.com

That Ohio stop is even more brutal than I'd let on, actually - not only did Trump verbally tear into Christie, but when the two first arrived in Ohio (from a campaign stop in North Carolina), Trump wouldn't even offer Christie the most basic of human etiquette: letting him stand under Trump's umbrella.

4. The time Trump yelled that Christie wasn't allowed to eat Oreos anymore


At a fundraiser to help failed presidential candidate Chris Christie help make up for some of the debt he incurred in his primary run, Trump was doing what Trump does best: rambling about a million separate, unrelated topics. Eventually he landed on Nabisco, which he was complaining about due to the company planning to move a plant from Chicago to Mexico. His response was that he wasn't eating Oreos anymore. That in and of itself is fine - it plays into Trump's anti-globalist rhetoric and is a jab about a specific brand.

And then, of course, he turned it into a fat joke aimed at Chris Christie (the person who the fundraiser was for).

"I'm not eating Oreos anymore, you know that -- but neither is Chris. You're not eating Oreos anymore. No more Oreos. For either of us, Chris. Don't feel bad."

You might think "this isn't NECESSARILY a fat joke" - after all, wouldn't that also mean Trump was making a fat joke about himself when he said he was off Oreos, right?

Well, two things: one, it was definitely a fat joke aimed at Christie. The fact that - of everyone in the room - Trump ONLY called out Christie definitely says something, Christie is a big fella and there have always been jokes about his weight - which Trump was aware of and playing into.

And secondly, Trump (jokingly) ORDERS Christie to not eat Oreos anymore, literally pointing at him and telling him that he won't be eating Oreos any longer.

Anyways, it's very very funny how Trump chose the one night that he and Christie were together that was EXPLICITLY meant to benefit only Christie to make a big fat joke about him.

5. The time(s) Trump made Christie fetch him McDonald's


Donald Trump is truly the Peoples' President, in that he (like many of us normies) likes shitty fast food a whole bunch, namely McDonald's. But here's the thing - Donald Trump isn't going to wait in line at McDonald's or sit in the drive-thru, so he sends someone extremely low-level to do that kind of gruntwork, like an aide or an intern or...the governor of New Jersey.

Yep - according to leaked sources within the campaign, Trump made Chris Christie go get him McDonald's at least once (an accusation which Christie's office denied).

6. The time Trump replaced him as his Vice Presidential nominee


Perhaps the most brutal and unforgivable moment in the "Trump actively shitting on Christie at every possible opportunity" relationship came in the lead-up to the Republican National Convention, when Trump was preparing to name the person who would run as his potential Vice President. Christie seemed to be in a plum position to get the gig - he had a similar reputation as Trump as an aggressive, no-nonsense politician who spoke his mind AND he seemed to bridge the gap between mainstream Republicans and the new coalition being formed by Trump. Surely, Trump would ask him to serve as VP, right?

The answer is....YES.

According to multiple sources, Trump's first choice for VP was Christie (although obviously it was not that strong of a choice). He asked him, Christie accepted, and that was that...until plane troubles kept Trump in Indianapolis a bit longer than expected, where Governor Mike Pence aggressively pitched himself as the perfect VP candidate. Trump listened, and agreed...and took back the offer to Christie.

This left Christie bitter - as it should have. Of all the indignities he had to put up with, this was the least public - but the most stinging.

However, Trump still found a way to twist the knife a bit more - by temporarily appointing Christie the head of his "transition team" after Trump won the Presidency...and then replacing him AGAIN.