As his poll numbers continue to drop for the upcoming 2016 Presidential Election, Donald Trump has found a new tactic of deflecting blame and criticism and preparing for the possibility that he might lose: that the whole election was rigged against him. This is not a new complaint of his - he would regularly complain about "rigging" when the Apprentice would be passed over for Emmy nominations. Trump really just doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and has trouble envisioning a world where EVERYONE doesn't love him and praise him constantly, so he figures the only explanation must be that the system is fixed against him.

1. History Tests




2. Flirting


3.  Eye Exams




"Read the letters on the 2nd line? Well, I'm gonna tell you, these letters are not very good. Very bad letters, what a mess. I only read good letters - the best letters. I'm gonna take such good care of those letters, the good ones. These letters though? Not so good. Many people will tell you, those letters you've got there are a disaster.

Also, I should mention, I've been talking to a lot of people, and they're all telling me that this eye exam is rigged. The optometrist is so corrupt, and everyone knows it."

4. Twitter




5. Restaurants


6. The Afterlife


  1. Donald Trump

    St. Peter, good friend of mine. Very good friend. I'm very religious, I know all the words of the Bible. All the best commandments.

  2. St. Peter

    Oh, there's no way I'm letting you into Heaven.

  3. Donald Trump

    Why not? I was the best person - very moral, very kind. My morals were the best, much better than anyone else's.

  4. St. Peter

    You the same Donald Trump who said they should jail the Central Park Five even though they were exonerated by DNA evidence?

  5. Donald Trump

    Correct. Sure, the "facts" and "evidence" say they were innocent, but - ya gotta understand - they're disasters. They're very bad people, trust me.

  6. St. Peter

    Sorry dude, no way you're getting in.

  7. Donald Trump

    This is ridiculous and unfair. Completely rigged. How can you have a wall separating me from the place I want to go to?

  8. St. Peter

    Do you seriously not see the irony in this?

  9. Donald Trump

    Of course I do, I see all the best ironies. Every irony there is, I see it.

  10. St. Peter