SHIT SHIT SHIT. You flushed the toilet, and it's NOT WORKING.

Step 1:

steps to unclog a toilet

Plunge the toilet by vigorously pushing in and out, keeping enough water in the bowl to cover the plunger. The ideal plunger has a extension flauge get a better suction, but of course when you bought your plunger (if you are lucky enough to have prepared in advance for this catastrophe) you were probably just looking for the cheapest and least embarrassing version to be caught shopping for, so this information is absolutely useless to you right now.

This step will not be effective because on today of all days, you had plans that you didn't want to include toilet clogging. As a courtesy to your friends, go ahead and cancel all social events for the day, citing "plumbing issues TOTALLY unrelated to poop."


Step 2:

steps to unclog a toilet

To "loosen things up" in a panic, try flushing the toilet again. This will, of course, cause overflowing, you idiot.


Step 3:

steps to unclog a toilet

With toilet water running all over your bathroom rugs, now is the to reach for the plunger once again. Be sure to try all different angles of plunging, requiring you to soak your hands in the poop water. You made this filth, now you must live in it.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Remember to yell "Just a minute" to your suspicious roommate. Let them think you're totally in control of the situation even though you are currently covered in shit water.


Step 4:

steps to unclog a toilet

Discover you messed up all previous steps. Learn about different types of plunging snakes, but be too embarrassed and stressed out to actually purchase one. Instead, search for home remedies ... like ones that including pouring scalding hot water and dish soap?


Step 5:

steps to unclog a toilet

WikiHow told you to, so it must be right.


Step 6:

steps to unclog a toilet

In your head, imagine the conservation with your roommate and/or plumber where you'll have to explain why your poop is bubbly.


Step 7:

steps to unclog a toilet

Even if you don't believe in a god, in your desperation now is the time to offer prayers of "Please just make this fucking shit flush and I'll singlehanded keep Activia and Raisin Bran in business for the rest of my life."

Step 8:

steps to unclog a toilet

Wow, that actually worked this time. That was easy.


Step 9:

steps to unclog a toilet

Use your roommate's towels to clean up all excess poop water. Hang dry.


Step 10:

steps to unclog a toilet

While it's on your mind, now is the time to consider investing in a nicer plunger or a snake. Or you could do literally anything else not involving thinking about the terrible embarrassing nightmare you just lived.

Repeat all steps for the rest of your fiber-lacking life.