1 Theyre not into your favorite show


PERSON 1: Oh, you never watched The Simpsons growing up and always thought it was "pretty stupid?" Um. Well, that's not such a big deal, it's just a show, and it's not like we're gonna be sitting around watching The Simpsons all the time when we're hanging out.


[10 minutes later]


PERSON 2: The pork tacos here are really good.


PERSON 1 [thinking]: Ehhhhh, I always thought tacos were pretty stupid growing up, durrrrrr, I'm this person, I hate good things. Nah, probably shouldn't say that. I'll just keep silently thinking it and resenting them about everything, this'll work.


2 You travel differently


PERSON 1: So, I'm gonna set my alarm for 8 so we can get to the Louvre before the line gets too crazy.


PERSON 2 [wanting to just sleep in, roll out of bed and go to some cafe at 11 then get drunk and wander around]: Ok. I definitely don't mind waking up earlier on vacation than I do for my job.


3 Your pet allergies dont align


PERSON 1: Oh you have a cat? Crap, I'm kind of allergic. But it's fine! I can still come over, I'll just take some Zyrtec and try not to touch my eyes or breathe hard the entire time I'm there.


PERSON 2: I'm liking the direction our relationship is headed!



PERSON 1: Oh... have you been up long?


PERSON 2: Just a couple hours but it's fine, I went and got some coffee, walked around, sat through a timeshare presentation real quick, watched some tv. Had a little snack but that was hours ago so I'll totally eat lunch with you.


PERSON 1: Awesome. Well, I'm gonna be up til 4 again tonight, but I think this whole "the two of us are only awake for like 7 overlapping hours in the day" thing is gonna turn out to be fine.


5 They get less than 30 of your references


PERSON 1: Oh, you never saw that? What if I spend three minutes explaining the context?


PERSON 2: Haha sorry! Nah didn't really see a lot of movies or watch tv growing up.


PERSON 1: It would be really petty of me to not like someone just because they don't get the vast majority of the things I'm trying to convey.


PERSON 2: And I love sitting here smiling while you say out-of-context phrases from shit I've never seen! I think we're clicking.