Going on vacation with a significant other? Print out this list and see how many you can check off!


1 The Scavenger Hunt


You're in a four-room AirBNB. Can you pull off having sex in all four of them in two nights? SELF-CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!


You're goin' DOWN, nine-square-foot kitchen with the charming wooden knick-knacks on the wall!


2 The JetLagged Haze


Have you always been curious about having sex on ecstasy, but worried about the aftereffects (and don't know how to acquire ecstasy without, like, Googling it)? No problem! You can simulate that experience by having sex in the early evening on Day Two of your vacation, when both your bodies have no idea what the hell is going on and your minds are in a nondescript, distant, but pleasant haze.


It's basically an out-of-body experience, followed by immediately crashing and waking up naked and fully refreshed at 3:15 am. You're basically the cool antihero from one of those drug movies!


3 The Food Coma Rally


You ate so much paella you can barely move, plus dessert, plus a gallon of drinks that still aren't even getting you drunk because of the aforementioned cement-bag of food you already dumped down your throat. This is SO CLOSE to being one of the most memorable days of your life, you HAVE to rally and cap it off properly to ensure its place in the "You Remembering Days" Hall of Fame.


You can hit the bathroom afterwards and make all the gross noises you need to. You're both in the exact same boat anyway so you literally can't judge one another.


4 The Fuck It, Its Raining


Oh well! You WERE going to spend the day absorbing local culture at the extremely dry & educational and somehow depressing "Local Unique Museum" place, but now it's raining, so I GUESS you better stay in and do the free thing that's way better than that museum. (Sorry, that museum! We totally were going to go to you if it hadn't rained for eight minutes, we promise!)