Illustrated by Nathan Yaffe.
7 Signs You're Totally Becoming a Dad
By Susanna Wolff
1. You've started tucking in your polo shirts. [image: young-looking guy with a tucked in shirt, looking at himself in a mirror. He looks pleased. Behind his reflection is a woman holding a pregnancy test.] 2. You insist on calling waitresses by their first names. [image: guy, now wearing dad glasses, joking with a waitress. Next to him is the woman, now heavily pregnant.] 3. You suddenly know all the words to every Bruce Springsteen song. [image: guy, hair now a little thinner up top, is singing his heart out and drumming on the steering wheel in a car. Next to him is the pregnant woman, in labor.] 4. You suddenly know the names of absolutely no celebrities (except Bruce Springsteen, whom you now only refer to as "The Boss"). [image: in a hospital room, guy is pointing at an issue of Us Weekly and shrugging his shoulders. In the bed beside him, the woman is giving birth.] 5. You can't stay awake for an entire episode of "The Mentalist." [image: guy, now with a mustache, is asleep on a couch, bathed in tv light. Beside him, the woman holds a baby.] 6. You watch "The Mentalist." [image: same scene as above, but now the woman is also asleep. On the floor in front of them, the baby, now a toddler, is chewing on a disc from a "The Mentalist" boxset.] 7. You have a kid. [image: the guy, with his thinned hair, dad glasses, and mustache, is sitting on a porch, drinking a beer and reading the newspaper. in the foreground, his 12-year-old is mowing the lawn and rolling his eyes.]