Being a flight attendant has got to be a tough job. Every asshole has an oversized carry-on bag they're trying to shove into the too small overhead compartment and people immediately tune-out the safety announcements while they wait for their beverage. (Personally, I pick out which fellow passenger I'll have to kill for food should the plane crash on a remote island, but that's just me. )

Southwest Airlines flight attendant Martha Cobb pulled out a string of airline  jokes for the opening announcments to keep passengers' attention in a video posted by Marty SWA flight attendant. They come pretty fast though so you have to listen closely.