Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

That Wasnt Your Cats Poop

I like to dip in my room, my roommate hates it. I found out she was talking shit about my dip habits on twitter, so as payback, I poured my dip spit on her pillow, in every pair of her shoes, and in her favorite sweatshirt. That's what you get for talking shit bitch. catssandtatss


Junior year a group of 7 of us rented a house. 5 of us felt the urge to attend school in hopes of bettering ourselves. 2 roommates lounged around the house, had their parents pay the bills only to be drunk and/or high all throughout the day. After a couple of months of this, the roommates with futures decided it was time to passive aggressively force the POS roommates (who happened to be dating) out. So by Christmas of that year they were moving things out while the rest of us were having a few drinks downstairs. We went upstairs to check on their progress to find only their bastard cat's litter box remaining. We took it upon ourselves to send them a nice going away present in shitting in the kitty litter box. We proceeded to cover up the terd - as a cat would do. The best part was the female roommate coming back to pick up the litter box and saying "I think my cat is sick. He had the biggest poo I've ever seen". - Anonymous

Hey remember the second week we moved in someone knocked over that glass bottle of maple syrup that leaked all through out our fridge? That was me. And remember how we agreed to split the clean up and i did my half and you have yet to do yours? its ok. Over the past month i have been farting in your Jars of weed and putting boogers in your bong while you were at work. Smoke my nose gold bitch. - Anonymous

Description: Dear Mike, You know how you always knock all the bottles of shampoo and soap over when you take a shower with your girlfriend? Yea, that gets annoying, so I took the liberty of helping myself to your loofa and scrubbing my ass crack everytime I take a shower. I then leave it on the shower floor just for good measure. For added benefit, I took your girlfriend's shampoo bottle and submerged it in the toilet after I took a dump to get all the turd water in it. Yea, it might be excessive, but I'm an asshole. Love, Matt - Anonymous

Dear Roommate 1, Remember that time I really needed some change to do my laundry? And remember right after that how I came up to get the change from MY change bucket? Well if you remember those then you must remember the fact that you stole all my change to buy your annoying ass girlfriend her favorite Fuze Slenderize. Oh and then you knocked the bucket over and wouldn't get out of bed to pick it up because you were watching re-runs of Scrubs with that insane witch. I really hope you remember all that, because now you know why your parents wouldn't let you go on spring break because "mysteriously" your porn got sent to your parents' house and emails. Smooches - Anonymous

Hey Lo, you know how neither one of us likes to take out the garbage? Well, remember when it was your turn to take it out and I was going away for the weekend? Hm, I dont know why, but when I walked back into the room you were laying on your bed as usual, and there were 2 giant bags of garbage in front of my desk and in my nook of the room. Well, thanks for making my side of the room reek for a straight week. I hope you enjoy the red dye thats going into your shampoo. You won't even notice since its a cute pink color to start out with. The red will give a nice kick to your blond hair that you shower, blow dry and straighten at 8 fucking AM, or whenever I have to be in the bathroom getting ready for my classes. Btw, if your class is at 10:40, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE IN THE SHOWER AT 8:30. - Anonymous

Dear Landlord that I share house with: I am aware my apartment lacks a sink, bathroom etc. I understand that it is 'communal' in the basement. I understand that you have a cat and cat litterbox that requires cleaning. I do not understand why you need to the sink in which I do dishes. I hope you understand that I gave your cat laxatives and blocked its cat door to the basement. Good god that cat shat and meowed for hours. - Anonymous

My roomate would eat all my food, have his dumbass friends over till late when I had class early the next day. When I asked him to stop he got pissed and told our R.A. that I had pot. Which I didn't so to get him back I slept with his girlfriend of 2 years. Long story short she got pregnant. She told him that it was his, but when it came out white and not black he was pissed. They broke up she went to go live with her mom and dad. He dropped out and joined the Navy. Pay back is a BITCH!!! - Anonymous

Dude while you were out at the bars spending obscene amounts of money with your frat-tastic friends, I was probably with your sister. She can do some cool stuff with her tounge. I felt guilty about it until yall started keeping me up late with your 3 a.m. sausagefest 4 days a week. So I started shacking at your sisters. Sorry bro. Its not my fault you have a hot sister. - Anonymous