Welcome to Rough Love, the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories. If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

Hi MomCan I Call You Back

One time while with my now ex i got a call from my mother. I answered the phone and started talking, but was soon distracted by the sound of my zipper being pulled down. My ex then proceeded to suck me off while I attempted to finish the call. From then on, whenever my mom called, she would give me head. To this day I try not to think about the freudian implications.- Z.M.

After a night out at a club my girlfriend and I get back to her appartment, but decide to wait a bit before having sex because her cousin and her cousin's boyfriend are on their way there in another car (they were staying the night). We wound up falling asleep before they get there so nothing happened. In the morning we wake up and I try to make my move but shes pretty hungover and says not right now. She proceeds to get out of bed and starts looking around the room. She then reaches for my boxers and starts pulling them off. Im just like "you JUST said you dont wanna have sex right now." She says "ya i know", and puts my boxers on because she couldnt find her pants and didnt want to leave the room in her panties with people sleeping in the living room…- Kevin

So a girl I've been seeing for a little while and I are having sex in my backyard in broad daylight on a blanket. Were doing "doggy style" and all of a sudden a fly starts buzzing around me. I swat at it and a few seconds later it goes right down my throat! I stop having sex and start choking on this fly, as she turns around to ask if I'm okay. I tell her what happened, and take a moment to gather myself. To her surprise after a few minutes I said "okay I'm alright, let's finish", and that we did.- Dan T.

I had hooked up with a girl after her party. The next morning we were laying in bed chatting, and somehow we were talking about the earthquakes that hit Japan. She told me that she thought they had it coming for starting World War 2… I then had to go into a lengthy explanation about when and how WW2 started, and how Japan had absolutely nothing to do with it. That makes me feel good, I attract dumb-ass types apparently.- Tommy B.

I went with this girl to her prom (I was a freshman in college). I was basically high out of my mind, and I had just scored BIG! But while I was high, I paid her and her friends no mind, and when the dancing part came, I just sat. My ex texts me and says "you look like you're having fun," so I get fed up and dance with the girl in spite of my ex. Well, at the end of the night,the night, I get a text from my ex saying "let's dance" and so we do. Little did I know, last song came on, and I ended up dancing with my ex, instead of my date, which pissed my date off. And it looks like I just screwed everything up, but at the after party, the girl I went to the prom with ends up all up on me and we hooked up(: Haven't spoke to her since, apparently she was mad that we didn't share the last dance, but I thought we did ;) B O S S.- N.K.

My long distance boyfriend of 7 years decided this past June that as a birthday present to me, he would come to the US and meet me for the first time and we would spend a week together. I decided I wanted us to meet at a lake in town that I always thought was a nice spot to walk and relax after work a few years ago. I arrived and discovered that during the afternoon in the summer months is apparently when all the irresponsible dog owners and hobos hang out there now, too. We met and instead of the romantic, quiet setting I was hoping for spent our short time there dodging dog excrement every 30ft or so and bunches of half-naked homeless men baking in the Florida sun. The week went well but he discovered when I drove him to the airport that it's situated next to a sewage treatment plant since the wind was blowing in the wrong direction. Our 'romantic' week together ended as it began, smelling like shit. Tallahassee, you are so fucking embarrassing it isn't even funny.- T.S.

well it was early in my relationship and i was enjoying making my girl very wet when we got it on. so one day her and i have to house to our selves and things get hot and heavy. her and i ended up in the sweet position where she is straddling me and her jucies begin to flow. now earlier that day i had been in the bathroom and had all but two small remaining squares of toilet paper left on the roll. i wiped but not with the quality removing satisfaction provided by a large roll of tp. so once things came to the climactic finish, and her sweet juice's ran down me and towards my poorly wiped ass. we there were some questions about the strange new stains found on her clean white sheets. in my embarassment i attempt to explain my self when she tells me that she must of bleed on me. her and i are no longer dating but to this day i dont know if i ever told her the truth. now if only i had time to tell you about the time a girl asked me to pee on her.- D.B.

I have a bit of a thing with popping pimples, especially the really gross pussy ones. My boyfriend knows this because I often ask if I can pop his to which he always says no because "it hurts too much". Once when he came to visit we had a really huge argument but because there was nowhere else for him to sleep we still shared the bed. When he crawled into bed he rolled over with over with his back facing me and sheepishly offered to let me pop his pimples to make up for being an idiot.- Anonymous

I had been looking for a new mattress and I had had trouble finding one I liked. There was one I was interested in that I knew a local Hilton hotel happened to have in their rooms. I asked my Dad if I could spend a night there to try the mattress. So, he booked a room and called my boyfriend: "I'm calling to ask if you would be willing to spend the night with my daughter in a in a Hilton hotel so she won't be alone." My boyfriend said he never thought he would hear such a request from his girlfriend's father. I ended up buying that mattress.- Christina Q.