The Closer You Get to Graduation

By Hallie Cantor

Schoolwork done (drops to zero early on and stays there)
 
LinkedIn connection requests sent (increases exponentially)
 
Denial about moving back in with your parents (increases, then decreases at the very end)
 
How much you love college (starts medium and increases)

Time spent talking about hooking up with all these people you're never going to see again (increases quickly)
 
Time spent actually hooking up with people you're never going to see again (increases, but stays way lower than the line for "talking about hooking up")

How tired you are of people asking what you're doing after graduation (increases)
 
How boring your actual graduation ceremony will be (stays high, with a graduation cap hanging off the end of it)