Welcome back to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

Roommate Confessions: Special Cookies and the Taco Massacre - Image 1

Remember the time I drove you and your stupid friends to White Castle because you were all drunk and complaining? Then remember how you didnt give me any of the 30 burgers that I bought, because you forgot your money? Well I slept with your girlfriend and she's pregnant.-Anonymous

You would always wear shoes with no socks and only took a shower once a week. You always ate my food. Anytime you ate something you would leave the plate out to see what would grow on it. Remember that time you got sick from eating MY cereal? Well I saved a gallon of 3 week old milk and transfered it to a new container that said it hadn't expired yet. Oh, and also had some guy friends jizz into it. Guess you put it on my cereal you ate…- Anonymous

Remember that night where you bought three "special" cookies for the car ride home that weekend? Well, while you were out getting high one night, I went to the vending machine and bought three Mrs. Field's chocolate chocolate chip cookies and switched them with yours. It was great to hear about how high you got and how fun those cookies were. Ever hear of the placebo effect? Go to class.- Anonymous

I needed to get rid of my roommate fast. So my friends and I called a girl from the erotica section off craigslist. We got her to drive 20 miles from some farm town and paid her 50 bucks to play a prank on my roommate. She laid down naked on the bathroom floor with a belt around her neck just before my roommate was supposed to come home from work. We hid in my room and heard him yell in utter horror upon seeing the girl in the bathroom. Needless to say, he was gone within the next few days.- Anonymous

My roommate went out for an all night taco special and had a few shots to help digest the tacos. He came home around 3 a.m. and decided the tacos weren't a good thing to mix with tequila so he threw up all over the toilet, and surrounding area. He hit around and in the heater that would be in front of you if you were sitting on the toilet, he filled the basket that had all of our books we read while "passing the time" in the bathroom and then made it into the tub where he slept the next four hours where we found him and told him to clean it up immediately. Well, to him immediately meant after his college classes. My fiance was so furious about her book when she texted him to tell him how mad she was he replied by only saying its a bathroom not a library. So she followed up by taking his shower towel (that he would use for a week straight) and wiped up all the puke around the toilet and around the heater, in the basket of books and finally the toilet. When she was all done she hung the towel back up. When he got home he apologized and thanked her for cleaning it up and proceeded to take a shower and of course not bringing in a fresh towel, guess what towel he used!- Anonymous

One time I was visiting this girl at her dorm. We were hooking up when all of a sudden bitch RA stars pounding on the door screaming about some dorm policy and about how I didn't sign in time to be an overnight visitor. so girl tells me to hide in the shower.I'm in there and I can hear this girl saying something she doesn't have any visitors but bitch RA doesn't buy it and keys into the room to check. of course she discovers me instantly. Before I can even say anything she like "he's gotta go". So being the smart horny boy I was, I immediately said in my best fake drunk voice "fuck It I can drive home" home being about four hours away. needless to say by the end of it Bitch RA was in tears begging me to stay and not drive home "drunk".- Anonymous

I took no part in these shenanigans. There was this nice guy living on the floor above me years ago who reacted in the most hilarious ways when he was mad, and he never fully stood up for himself. Needless to say, he took a lot of crap from pranksters, including one douche who'd moon him on a daily basis, and count every successful moon. Well one day he earned the title "pee pee toucher" because he reached for the TV remote between another guy's legs on the couch. For the ENTIRE YEAR, 5-6 people from his floor put notes saying "PP-toucher" in various places, including inside his calculator case right before an exam, in his pants pockets, etc., and my favorite of all, inside his pillow case. Story goes he went to bed, and then had to put on his glasses, climb down from his bunk, and turn on the lights before he could read it.- Anonymous

Remember when you were speeding out of the garage in your blue BMW, with your guido douchebag attire? Remember when you almost hit me with your car as I was walking out of the tower? I hope you do, because that's what those eggs on your windshield were for.- Anonymous

Hey so you know how you gave me so much shit for being a lesbian and you always said my girlfriend and I were going to hell? Well every weekend when you went off to see your sexless boyfriend we had hot lesbian sex on your bed. It got pretty messy too so we used your towels to clean up. I always made sure to make my girlfriend come all over your pillow. You know how you always said how your pillow smelled so good and like the shampoo you used, I guess you really just like the smell of pussy juice.- Anonymous