Just when you thought everything with you and your new, but definitely-the-one lover was going great, there was some kind of miscommunication or you did something like a real bonehead, and now your lover has left you. But don't despair! If movies have taught me anything, here are 7 guaranteed methods for winning back that special someone.
1. Play Music and/or Sing for Her
Yes, you had a serious fight a pretty serious fight that was probably about cheating or lying or manipulation of psychopathic proportions, but all those bad feelings will melt away the moment you strum out a couple of basic chords and talk-sing right at her angry, then surprised, then bemused, then forgiving face.
You can write an original song and serenade her right before she's about to marry some other chump, like Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer."
If you don't have a great voice, or any writing abilities, or any original words to say to your wronged lady, you can just crank the P.A. and lip sync like Heath Ledger in "10 Things I Hate About You." (It helps if you look like Heath Ledger too.)
If you have no musical talents, no creativity, and aren't willing to risk humiliation, good news: you aren't out of the game yet! You can just hold up a boom box like John Cusack in "Say Anything." Yeah, just hoist a fucking boom box and no more apologizing is necessary.
2. Ruin a Wedding
You want to prove you mean serious business? Why not ruin an expensive party that has taken months to plan and is attended by all their friends and family? Best case scenario it's their wedding, but in a pinch you can ruin her child's, her client's, or even your own. Remember, that "speak now or forever hold your peace" line is there for a reason!
If you're feeling theatric, you can crash into the wedding on horseback like Patrick Dempsey in "Made of Honor," that movie you didn't see, but you can guess what happens.
*No horse? Just get your deaf brother_everyone_ has a deaf brotherto explain your true feelings while you're standing at the altar about to marry someone else, like Hugh Grant did in "Four Weddings and a Funeral." You might get punched, but you also might deserve it!
If you're not great at the timing thing, and want to avoid getting socked in the face, you can also just bang on some glass and scream like Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate." Frantic screaming is the way to every woman's heart.
3. Stop Her from Getting on a Plane
This classic maneuver has gotten a bit trickier since 9/11, but that makes it all the more special. Nothing says "I love you" like disrespecting national security, probably stalling tens of thousands of other travelers, and definitely getting you and your honey on the No-Fly list.
*You can maybe, maybe get off with just a warning for running through airport security without a passport or a ticket if you're a cute, blonde, British child, like that kid in "Love, Actually."
Considering how unlikely it is that you're an adorable British boy, you may need to settle for a more reasonable approach: explain your feelings before you true love travels, and hope that the message sinks in and makes him get off the plane. It worked for Natalie Portman in "Garden State." Of course, there's no way Zach Braff was going to turn down Natalie Portman.
You can also just pull a Nic Cage in "The Family Man" and run to the airport, then explain to a woman you haven't seen in years how you magically saw an alternate reality in which you were happily married to each other. That could possibly work.