Gangnam Pistachios

This one typifies one of the most destructive double-standards in society today. Why is that when we see men dancing on TV, they're always having goofy fun WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON, but when you look at the OTHER side, every single depiction of anthropomorphic pistachios shows them sexily peeling off their shells within seconds. This objectification of anthropomorphic pistachios is irresponsible. Pistachios are more than objects. That's why we took the the time to anthropomorphize them — so they would have human qualities! What kind of example is this setting? Pistachios are more than just a shell waiting to be cracked open, and sometimes pistachios do that weird thing where they're not split and you can NEVER get them open. We need to make sure that these more realistic depictions of anthropomorphic pistachios are presented in media today.

Volkswagen – Get in. Get Happy.

This one has elements that aren't offensive by themselves, but when you put them TOGETHER it becomes just wrong. I can't believe this commercial juxtaposes The Partridge Family theme song with images of boring office life. The Partridge Family represented family, artistry, freedom, and togetherness — everything that is antithetical to today's modern work environment that takes people away from their families and shunts them into soulless, cubic prisons. If The Partridge Family were alive today, and also not completely fictional, they would be disgusted to see the way their song had been appropriated.

GoDaddy Perfect Match

You've certainly heard about this one by now. It's absolutely sickening when consider what it is implying. The ad centers around a gorgeous supermodel and a lame nerd making out. I am so tired of the implication that I can't have a happy relationship unless my makeout sessions are accompanied by the sound of someone stomping through a trough of fish guts. Lots of young people get the completely wrong idea about sex through these sorts of ads. Guys think "Oh, I want to make out with this girl, I guess I better plan ahead and hire a foley artist to record the sound of my fish gut trough." True, SOME girls like that, but not EVERY girl. AND THAT'S OKAY. But SOCIETY doesn't want us to think that.

Taco Bell – Viva Young

For shame Taco Bell. Why don't we just exploit old people for humor? I'll tell you why. Because old people are people too. Wouldn't it be funny if old people did crazy fun things? It would not. You're exploiting the stereotype that old people are boring, but if you've spent any time with the senior population, you would know that they are interesting, exciting people. And don't say it's okay because you "have old friends." Grow up.

Budweiser Black Crown

It's 2013, people! Why are people still confusing Budweiser for beer? Budweiser is Rancid Ground Water, and by calling it beer you deny Rancid Ground Water one of the few positive role models it has.