There are maybe three people from high school you still talk to, and it's only once a semester, yet you never seem to have anything to talk about. But when you go home for Thanksgiving, all you want to do is get back to school so you can see all of the friends you've missed for the past five days, and can catch up on everything you missed.

There's always one guy who tries to set up reunions for your high school crew. Wonder how many college friends he has?

When you finally get together with the two high school friends you like, do you notice that all you do is reminisce? More cool stuff happened to you last week than in your entire high school experience, but all you can say when you see your old buds is "man, remember that time junior year?"

Do you still remember what you got on your SATs? In high school, everyone knew what they got on all their tests, as well as the mean, median, and standard deviation of the entire grade. Now, you can't even remember what you got on your midterm last week.

You know what the quickest way to tell someone is a dork in college? If they keep reminding you how cool they were in high school. If all their stories start out "This one time in high school, man it was awesome" that's because nothing has been awesome for them since then. A couple of key signs are a yearbook that's the first thing you see when you walk in the room, a letter jacket on their very first hanger, and the constant desire to get back together with all his high school friends.

Like this column? Then buy the book!