What do you get for the college student that has everything? More beer.

Someone once yelled at me to shut my music off, and said I had to listen to them because it was their birthday. Which was helpful, since I knew how old they were before I turned my music up and laughed.

Why do we still write people's names on the envelope of their birthday card? I guess it avoids confusion when roommates have the same birthday, since that happens all the time.

22 is such a let-down birthday. Now I know how New Year's felt.

Weekday birthdays are not bad because you can't go out – they're bad because you have classes. Nothing says "happy birthday" like 300 pages of reading and a two-hour lecture.

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