Why don't adults remember college? Most people's parents have no idea what goes on at school, even though its been going on since colleges existed. Apparently the last class you take is brainwashing. If you get anything above a ten on the final, you have to take it again.

I think it'd be awesome to come back and visit all of your friends every once in a while after you graduate. But I know a guy who is working full time and still spends all of his nights at one of our college bars. That doesn't mean he's still accepted at school. It means he's not accepted at work.

I don't understand the concept of admitting legacies into schools, clubs, or teams. If smart, cool, and athletic were dominant genes, don't you think we'd know by now? Sure, some of them are very skilled. But the only thing that's hereditary about them is money.

How come only alumni with uncommon names donate money to my school? Our buildings are named Schermerhorn, Sulzberger, and Fayerweather. What the hell happened to Smith?

I'm going to help my school raise money when I graduate, but I'm not going to do it by giving them any. I just figure that if they don't constantly send me letters asking for donations, they'll save a few bucks on stamps.

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